Latest Tweets:
Stuff My Girlfriend Says
Yes, she said all of this stuff. Really.
StuffMyGirlfriendSays.com on Facebook
Yes, she said all of this stuff. Really.
“I’d much rather date a quadriplegic. At least then you could have some awesome Stephen Hawking Speak’N’Spell sex.”
“Back then I was a typical asshole southern Californian. I mean, I still am.”
“I have the perfect sternum-to-tit-meat ratio!”
“Fuck bras. Bras cramp my style.”
“A steak sandwich is just a burger you have to chew harder.”
“At this stage they’re not so much pants as a denim sack held together by farts.”
“Why? Do you have to be sober to get an abortion?”
“Listen, if you started bleeding out of your penis once a month you’d never get used to it. You’d be all ‘oh fuck my penis is bleeding agh I hate my penis’ so I suggest you shut the fuck up!”
“Dude, two fives don’t make a ten.”
“It looks like a trout trying to eat its way out of a net!”
