Stuff My Girlfriend Says

smgs2.png @ 100% (RGB/8#) Yes, she said all of this stuff. Really.

*147

Me: Er, we don't use that term here.
Her: Of course you don't! That's because he didn't sign your declaration of independence, you non-constitution-having, freedom-of-speech-hating motherfucker!

*246

“Sure I will. Next time we have sex when I’m finished I’ll spray you in the face with a seltzer bottle.”

*99

“Just like Rush Limbaugh!”

*121

“Aw baby! Sometimes you’re a dipshit, but you’re never a douchebag.”

*33

Look! They released Cam-Whore Barbie!

*137

“That’s because yours are made of chicken and ours are made of illegal immigrants or something.”

*89

“I can’t watch that shit because I’m convinced I’m one two-month old magazine and a saved pickle jar away from being one of those people.”

*119

“I’m sorry. Well, I’m not sorry. I’m sorry you’re a moron.”

*67

“She looks like a condom stuffed with butter. No, not even butter. Margarine.”

*96

“That stuff is the repressed Christian house-wife of booze. It won’t go down without a fight.”